Dear Mr. Brooks,

Thank you so much for your heartfelt concern regarding the state of the Democratic Party ("Rescuing the Democrats," 10/21). I couldn't agree more that the Democrats need "rescuing," and it's nice to see you've contributed your two cents toward that end. It is indeed time to halt this "long, slow slide," and I think you've come up with a brilliant remedy: supporting candidates like John Edwards! How could I not have thought of that myself? Geez! I mean, after all, he speaks with a "folksy" Southern twang; and nothing signifies "Middle American values" like a folksy twang! I mean, Bush had a folksy twang too, sort of. I guess that's why voters preferred him to Al Gore. Then again, Gore had a Southern accent too--but what good does that do you in the old barbershop when you come across as a "wooden" "exaggerator," right? I guess Bush just created that sense that he could "fit right in" at Hometown Barbershop, U.S.A. It was like you could sit down and have a beer with the guy! That must be why Bush triumphed over Gore in the 2000 election.

But I do have to take exception to a couple of your points. You astutely
observe that Bill Clinton was able to discern "Middle American values" by
way of a natural, intuitive "gut feeling," rather than by reading polls.
But at the same time, Bill Clinton lied, and lying is not a "Middle
American value." Probably that's why voters came to see that he, like so
many before him, could just not be trusted.

And but also, are you aware that John Edwards is a multi-millionaire trial
lawyer? I'm not so sure that being a multimillionaire trial lawyer is a
"Middle American value." Don't you think voters might see through the
facade, and come to realize that Edwards, like so many before him, cannot
be trusted in a barbershop-like setting? I mean, wouldn't they be worried
he might sue the barbers! Trial lawyers, you know, are just out for the
money. (Remember who was another multimillionaire trial lawyer: that guy
who got O.J. Simpson off the hook!) Also: isn't trial-law a rather divisive
enterprise? Pitting the powerless against the powerful in a litigious
courtroom setting...um, not exactly "uniting"! How could Americans be sure
that somebody like Edwards wouldn't just foment class warfare, that old
Democrat trick? I'm just really not sure that voters are ready to believe a
multimillionaire trial lawyer can be trusted.

Man, when I started off writing this, I thought you were really on to
something, but now I'm not so sure. Where, among our cadre of condescending
snobs, are we going to find somebody who can be as "in tune" with "Middle
American values" as President Bush? I mean, that endearing awkwardness
before cameras, that no-frills, down-home way of talking, twangin' his way
across America and the world, shakin' hands and slappin' backs, that
affinity for cowboy boots and military flight suits (imagine how phony a
multi-millionaire trial lawyer would have looked, landing that plane on
that flight deck!) that populist-inflected suspicion of the news media and
"government bureaucracies"...

Mr. Brooks, if we're really going to rescue the Democrats, we can't stop
here. We've gotta keep thinking. I'll keep up my end of this thoughtful
ongoing discussion about why Democrats are such snobbish losers, if you
keep up yours. I'll be eagerly awaiting your next column for more
refreshingly straightforward "common-sensical" ideas about this subject!

Sincerely, your fellow Democrat,

Blicero