Have you heard the news?

The Florida state government is doing that funny thing again where they try to "clean up" the voter rolls so that convicted felons can't vote. Except the "process" is so confusing and difficult that it might lead to one of those big "screw-ups" like we dealt with in November 2000. You remember the hanging chads? Oh God! What a big mess! But at least maybe we'll get another national "civics lesson" out of it. Just like the "Iraqi people" have gotten an interesting "military strategy" lesson out of the big mess in Iraq! What a mess!

Anyway, in case you haven't heard the news, you should know that the new Florida felon-purge list is all screwed up! Ha, ha! It seems that of the 48,000 felons in the state of Florida, there are 61 Hispanics. I guess all those Cubans don't commit crimes. Maybe it's because they spend their time sucking on crucifixes and praying to Jeb. And many of the "felons" on the felon list who are of the same race as Clarence Thomas aren't actually felons.

Well, the non-partisan U.S. Civil Rights Commission has declared that the list is evidence of, at best, gross incompetence. They can't say outright that Jeb Bush is guilty of fraud and violations of the Civil Rights Act, because making those criminal charges would probably make more problems for the commissioners than they can afford to deal with. But the list has been thrown out.

Oh, wait. It hasn't. Jeb has said that now it is up to the counties to keep felons from voting--and they will have to figure out a way to do so on their own. Republican officials in several counties have already declared that they are going to use the very list that the U.S. Civil Rights Commission has declared to be inaccurate, racist, and written in the spirit of Abu Ghraib.

So, let's be clear here: there will be massive voter fraud perpetrated against blacks in Florida this fall. The intention to commit fraud has been announced publicly, and yet no federal authorities have stepped in to stop it, and no media outlet has played the announcement as a lead or front-page story. The fraud will probably cost John Kerry Florida. Similar kinds of fraud--including making inaccurate voter purge lists, closing polling stations, sabotaging get-out-the-vote-efforts (a crime that a Republican operative has admitted, in court, to performing in 2002), etc.--will occur in other states, likely costing John Kerry the national election.

Justice will only be served when Jeb and George, celebrating their "victory," are surprised by the sudden descent of the angry Jesus whose name they desecrate on a daily basis. Let us pray that Jesus viciously impales the brothers on either end of a white-hot anal spike (thus joining them forever in a new kind of holy matrimony).

UPDATE: At 4 p.m., on Judy Woodruff's CNN program "Kill Americans and Rape Their Corpses" there was a long segment on the "controversy" concerning elections in Florida. A clip of Florida Rep. Corrine Brown calling the 2000 election a "coup d'etat" was played repeatedly. Other Democrats (John Kerry, Jesse Jackson) were shown talking about how blacks were disenfranchised in 2000 and how it was important to prevent this from happening again. Much was made of a House resolution defeated today that would have called for UN monitoring of the 2004 election in Florida. Republicans were shown talking about how this would waste UN resources since other non-functional democracies were in need of supervision. At no point in the report was a felon purge list mentioned. The inaccurate purge list of 2000 was not mentioned. Not a word was uttered concerning the recent discovery that Jeb Bush's 2004 purge list has been exposed by the US Civil Rights Commission as naming 48,000 blacks and 61 Hispanics. The segment thus succeeded in making it seem like the "controversy" was about nothing at all--claims and counter-claims, all made to seem as if they referred to no particular events or abuses.