Dear Hanoi John,

You are the most disgraceful member of the United States Senate. You have violated, desecrated, shat on, the most sanctified aspect of your own life on this earth: your years-long imprisonment and torture at the hands of the North Vietnamese army. You have in effect become your own symbolic torturer; you have shat all over yourself publicly.

Your latest "defense" of John Kerry (and his record of heroism in war) amounts to jack shit, because you continue to campaign for and with Bush, who personally shits in your mouth every time you come within defecating distance. He did so in 2000, when he spread vicious lies about you in South Carolina and sabotaged your campaign. That wasn't some ad agency: it was Bush himself; and you know that in your heart. Not so long ago men would have called duels over far lesser abuse; it would naturally have been a matter of honor. You know that Bush shits on John Kerry just as he shat on you in 2000, and yet you continue to stand "shoulder to shoulder" with Bush in the campaign, even as he continues to shit on you, and your life, and everything you purport to stand for.

You now stand for nothing. Every "maverick" cause you champion means nothing. You have personally chosen to reduce yourself to the status of a common celebrity. You relish your own cheesy, pop vulgarity as you do Bush's feces. Do you even know what it means to "be a man"? Are you even a man...or has the combination of your extreme suffering and your extreme vanity rendered you a mere thing? Do you give half a shit about how history will perceive you? Obviously you don't, as you prefer to stand with the side of lies, filth, slander, and murder, against the side of reason, hope, and doing the best you can. You do this because you associate the latter qualities with your party's former identity, even though you well know your party has been rotted from within by a viral fungus of greed, fascism, and hatred. You know you're campaigning with a small piece of insensate tumor extracted from the Body of Evil. But it doesn't matter, because for some reason you remain enslaved to the trappings of media image and fleeting popularity. You obviously fear the anger and rebukes of your colleagues, even though you well know your colleagues are deformed stumps of rotting flesh. Why do you care? Why would you continue to lie to yourself, your family, and the world, by saying you don't think the Bush campaign is responsible for the slander against John Kerry, even though you know their methods consists of nothing but such slander against their opponents?

Your behavior is so inexplicable that I can only conclude you have been deranged as a result of that malignant growth on the side of your whitish-grey head. (The growth is not your fault, nor is the physical structure of your head, but your behavior and actions are, and deserve to be condemned, whether or not they have been caused by the growth.)

Please go back to Arizona and die sooner rather than later. I say this not out of malice but out of sympathy, since your recent behavior indicates that you wish for death. Nobody committed to life could say or do what you do. If you pray hard enough to Fathers Falwell and Robertson, they may forgive you for calling them evil. And you couldn't possibly crave anything more than the blessings of those more powerful than you.

Eat shit,

Blicero