Friday, August 27, 2004

Shit, Death, Horror 

Have you heard the news?
President Bush and Sen. John Kerry bowed to the wishes of popular maverick John McCain on Thursday, as the president embraced the Republican senator's legal fight against big-money special interest groups airing negative ads and the Democratic nominee scrapped a commercial that featured McCain.
Have you heard the other news?
Their bitter fight over Vietnam-era military service took a compelling new twist...
Are you ready, folks, for the compelling new twist? The new twist, from what I can gather based on the information contained in this news information story, is that

a) Kerry, "bow[ing] to the wishes of popular maverick John McCain," has withdrawn an ad which featured--get this--a piece of footage of John McCain speaking to then-candidate Bush. The ad makes no claims which could be criticized for their truth-value; it simply shows McCain saying what he said to Bush, which was that Bush ought to be ashamed.

b) Bush, "bow[ing] to the wishes of popular maverick John McCain," "will join forces with McCain in legal action to crack down on political ads aired by outside groups, dubbed "527s"."

Thus, "With their actions Thursday, Bush and Kerry satisfied McCain's demands."

Great! So--if I am interpreting this news information correctly--Kerry will be pulling an ad that consists only of truth, while there is no indication that Bush's ad--consisting only of lies--will not continue to run. But--Bush will have "joined forces" with McCain in "cracking down" on campaign finance loopholes and abuses.

Well, I guess both Bush and Kerry have "bowed" to McCain and made their equally painful concessions--which leads us to the other news:
The only obvious winner is McCain, a former Vietnam War hero who emerged from his 2000 defeat as one of the nation's most popular politicians, beloved by independent voters and courted by both presidential candidates. He has welcomed the attention, often instigating it, with an eye toward a possible run for the presidency in 2008.
Isn't that great? Everyone wins when McCain wins. Everyone's satisfied when McCain's satisfied.

Oh, and also:
But Kerry lost half the support of people who said they would vote for him based on what they learned about his military experience during his convention last month.

Fuck this sick worm-eaten country. Fuck the corpsified media. Fuck the stupid, suicidal voters. I wish you all an eternity being tortured by John McCain's VC doctor.


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