Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Eliminating Bush's Map 

There's a spate of new state polls from Zogby, showing that Bush's seeming lead in the Electoral College has been erased and the battlegrounds are once again battlegrounds. The map pretty much confirms what we've known all along--barring some unforeseen error of God/nature (like Kerry losing Maryland) the race will come down to Florida and Ohio.

Speaking of Maryland, there's a new SUSA poll out showing Bush and Kerry tied at 48% in Maryland, which causes in me disgust, horror, and incontinence, despite the fact that it's surely an outlying bit of nonsense. Gore won MD by 16 points in 2000.

Let me just say this: if Kerry does not win Maryland by at least 10 points, I will

a) go to my parents' (and my childhood) home, attach a tractor to the back deck's supports, and drag the entire house into the deep creek ravine at the back of the property;

b) set fire to the neighborhood;

c) drive through Potomac and River Falls in a special truck equipped to spray highly-pressurized liquid shit in all directions; and

d) drive my car headlong into the Chesapeake Bay.


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