Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Bumper Sticker 

Well, the "John Kerry" and "Defend America, Defeat Bush" are going to have to come off at some point. What to replace them with?

[Note: some of these are meant to be put on my car, others on the cars of those who voted for Bush.]

"Fuck You."

"Fuck America."

"Hey America: Fuck You."

"America: Nation of Cowards."

"Although Nearly Every Aspect of My Life Has Proven a Catastrophic Disappointment, from My Marriage to My Family to My Job to My Hope for the Future, Everything that Once Brought Me Joy, or Seemed Like It Could--Every Last Ounce of Spirit, Imagination, Curiosity About Life Systematically Sucked Out of Me By a Corporate System that Has Reduced Me to a Dead-Eyed, Illiterate, Mindless-Entertainment-and-Poison-Consuming Drudge--Nonetheless I Get Really Fired Up by the Idea of Legislative Fag Bashing. Even If I Have to Get Shat On, Shot At, Robbed, Further Dehumanized, and Blown Up, and Also Suck on a Crucifix for a Few Hours a Week and Feign Self-Righteous Piety, Which Is Ultimately Pretty Boring, It's Still Worth It if I Can Stick It to the Gays. (And the Terrorists Too. Same Thing.)"

(can that fit on a bumper sticker?)

"I [heart] Osama."

"What Kind of Asshole Would Elect a Clearly Brain-Damaged Man as President? You, Sir? Well Then, You're an Asshole."

"Jesus Licks Osama's Asshole."

"Gays = the New Blacks; Terror = the New Christ."

"Where Else in the History of the World Has So Much Wealth, Privilege, and Freedom Been Conferred Upon a People Who Have Proven Themselves So Unworthy of Those Things (Who Have in Fact Proven Themselves to Be Little More than Frightened, Greedy Infants Throwing Tantrums in Their Own Shit) Than Here?"

"God Bless the Bush/Osama/Satan/Christ."

"If You Voted for Bush, Know that You Have Caused Christ to Be Forcibly Sodomized by the Devil. You Yourself Are a Christ-Sodomite-Terrorist."

"In Its Abject Fear of Invisible 'Terrorists,' America Expresses Its Not-Even-Very-Latent Desire for Terror."

"Fuck America, and You As Well."

"I [heart] Eating Shit."

"My Vote Indicates that I Mix Together Bush's Shit and Osama's Shit into a Single Turd, then Eat that Turd, All While Rejoicing in the Christ."

OK, enough for now.


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