Friday, December 03, 2004

Scoliosis and State Tyranny 

The latest from Stand Up and Holla! at http://www.recallmontgomeryschoolboard.com/:

This whole thing has really gotten the gears in my head-engine turning. If Rev. Moon and the people over at the Washington Times can keep this story alive, we can hopefully drum up support for some OTHER issues once we've got all the Beltway liberals listening. In an earlier post, I made reference to Home Ec. class -- a.k.a. "let's make the boys wear lace aprons and learn how to cry" class. But there's quite a few OTHER thorns in my side.

I'll start with "Gym Class." Most parents have NO idea what goes on behind the closed doors of your average gymnasium in Montgomery County. Well, I've been there, and seen it, and I think it's time people heard.

#1) The gym at my high school had SHOWERS. "Sure," you're thinking to yourself. "You can work up some perspiration playing Tether Ball or Badminton. So it's a good idea to slip behind the shower curtain and soap up before your next class." Well, that's where I'm going to have to stop you. There are NO SHOWER CURTAINS OR STALLS IN OUR SCHOOLS' GYMS. News Flash: Young men are expected to mingle with each other in the altogether, while teachers are milling about (taking notes?!). I would want my childrens' school to be a safe zone. That's why I want to raise them in Downtown Bethesda -- not Downtown Gomorrha! Let's do away with the free in-school pervert peep shows, shall we -- once and for all.

#2) Several schools in Montgomery County have wrestling teams. Oh, now there's a good idea -- encourage youg men in tight singlets to roll around on the floor with each other, grunting and moaning. I say "Less half-nelsons; more full-Leviticus 20:13!" If you ask me, the whole idea of a wrestling team in high school is Unitarded!

#3) Some people are liable to say I've gone "too far" with this next one, but it's something I've thought long and hard about. It's the "Presidential Physical Fitness Test" which is administered yearly to students in Montgomery County public schools. Some of the activities that are a part of this test are fine (and could even come in handy), like running a mile (away from the Montgomery County School Board). But each year, the test includes one doozy of a finale: The Scoliosis Test. This test involves young men bending over, with his hands on his knees, while an adult investigates his backside for signs of curvature or malformation. Now, let's get a show of hands here, folks? How many people are comfortable with the idea of a group of young boys in terrycloth short-shorts going 45 degrees for a strange man who hangs out in a stall-free shower room every day? Thought so. And another thing. I've "Googled" t! he word, and I'm not totally convinced there even IS such a thing as Scoliosis.

So again: These are just some of the other things that I -- as an alum of 12 grades of MCPS, through Walt Whitman High School -- think could stand to be addressed, now that this case is starting to attract significant regional attention. Thank you.


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