Judge embroiders Ten Commandments on judicial robe

MONTGOMERY, Ala. - A south Alabama judge refused to delay a trial Tuesday when an attorney objected to the judge wearing a judicial robe with the Ten Commandments embroidered in gold on the front of the garment.

Circuit Judge Ashley McKathan showed up Monday at his Covington County courtroom Andalusia wearing the robe at the start of a week of jury trials of cases that were being appealed from lower courts - mostly cases like driving under the influence and possession of marijuana.

Let me just say that I think the Honorable Ashley McKathan (that's a man, by the way; for a region that hates gays, the South sure does love naming their boys with just the cutest names!) is really on to something here. What is up with those boring old plain black robes, anyway? What's fun about that? Um, hello judiciary, I don't think there's any "law" that says fashion must remain in the chamber?

Anyway, I hope other judges around the country will keep the "fashion mo'" going. Some other ideas for things judges could wear/have in the courtroom:

1. A staff

2. Viking helmet

3. Enormous totemic rubber phallus (strapped on)

4. Fright-wig

5. Blackface makeup

6. Angel or butterfly wings

7. Suit of armor

8. Nose/lip/eyebrow piercings

9. Elaborate "bling"

10. Chef's hat

11. Other robe embroideries:

a. paisleys

b. Chinese ideograms

c. Masonic symbols

d. Scenes from the Kama Sutra

e. "West Side"/"East Side"

f. Pokemon

g. Birds/Plants of America


Any other ideas for ways judges could express their fashion "values" in the courtroom?

Update--Stand Up and Holla! adds the following:

13. Arabian Goggles

14. Thong, rape whistle

15. T-Shirt Reading: "I Need a Man with a V.C.R.!* *Very Cute Rear!"

16. Oversized novelty sombrero

17. Nylon blouse, Chinchilla-fur athletic supporter

18. False cleft-palate made of latex, coonskin cap missing tail

19. Overalls (one strap off shoulder), neon yellow painters cap with back-flaps advertising local amusement park

20. Full-body tattoo depicting 9/11 tragedy, rainbow beanie

21. Paper cloak soaked in gasoline, pair of dreamcatcher earrings

22. Ruffled pantaloons, "Who Farted?" button pinned directly onto bare chest

23. 3-D glasses, self-inflicted stigmata

24. Only a condom

25. Full Klan outfit, rose-tinted monacle, lightsaber

26. Blue Man Group make-up, semi-automatic handgun

Update--speakingcorpse adds:

27. Transparent diaper

28. Long rifle hanging out of asshole

29. Monocle affixed over small "eye" on penis

30. Arafat-style kaffiyeh

31. Miniature nativity scene in a box, hung around neck

32. Large jar filled with pink water (resembling amniotic fluid) in which judge, bound in fetal position, is immersed

Update--Holla! keeps the fun rolling:

33. Denim jacket bedazzled with sequined unicorns, swastika armband

34. Fiberglass unitard painted in the colors of the African National Congress, novelty Groucho Marx glasses

35. Tassled pasties, body glitter, crucifix attached to back

36. Beekeeper's helmet, oak cockring

37. Wax lips, cauliflower ear, lavender cummerbund

38. Hypercolor sports bra, patchy merkin

39. Motorized wheelchair, Maori warrior facial tattooing

40. Dioxin-poison-induced pockmarking, Osh Kosh B'Gosh short-pants

41. Severe jaundice, Ugg boots

42. Old fashioned reporter's fedora, tighty-whities

43. Von Dutch mesh ball cap, bejeweled anal-monacle (or "anacle")

Update--Bobo adds:

44. crotchless leather pants, fake mustache, anal beads

45. magenta unitard, pet monkey, wedding cake figurine necklace

46. loin cloth, nun-chucks

Update--Holla! adds:

47. Pith helmet, beard of bees

48. "This Dick's Not Gonna Suck Itself" t-shirt, respirator

49. Flapper gown, neuticles

50. Burlap modesty cloth, single hair-plug

51. Cape of wax, eggplant-sized hickey

52. Jeweler's loupe, Burmese neck-stretching rings

52. Hasidic peyes, dull machete

53. "Prince Albert," Member's Only jacket

54. Tilted kente-cloth fez, erection

55. "Hillbilly" body armor, seeing eye dog