Thursday, August 11, 2005

"Slow news month" 

So what's up with these fucking rubber bracelets? According to BBToyStore.com, their top sellers are:

"Livestrong" (Official Lance Armstrong, Adult and Youth sizes)
"Support Breast Cancer Research and Education"
"One World One Cause - Tsunami Relief Effort" (3 colors)
"Find the Cure"
"Pope- Rest in Peace, 1920-2005"
"Share Beauty Spread Hope"
"Support Our Troops" (4 colors, including camo, tie-dye, stars & stripes)
"U.S.A." (2 colors, Adult and Youth sizes)
"Beach Bum"

I can't help but notice the relentlessly "positive" messages proclaimed by these "bracelets." The slogans are either against bad things (breast cancer, the tsunami, bullying) or for good things (faith, the troops, U.S.A., angels). (I actually don't know whether it is the Pope or the Pope's death which is being celebrated in the Pope bracelet, but I presume it's the latter.)

Am I to understand that adults are wearing these pieces of crap? What must go through one's head? "Yeah, I haven't been into this kind of cheap wearable fad since I was in, oh, 5th grade--but heck, now I'm 45, and they're kinda cool, and some of their messages seem to connect to "grownup" concepts like war, terrorism, and faith and values, so why not?"

That said, I am now going to go purchase the charcoal black "Bush Lies" bracelet, the 17th-ranking slogan (ahead of, I'm happy to note, "Courage," "Honor," and "Hope," as well as "Don't Worry Be Happy" and "Jesus Is My Soul").


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