Saturday, November 19, 2005

Civil Shit War 

As speakingcorpse points out in the comments, Jean Schmidt's name is actually Jean Shit. The name describes its owner literally. Jean Shit is a woman made entirely out of shit--and what she did today on the floor of the House was to consume a part of herself (shit), then shit it back out at her audience, the other House members, Republicans and Democrats alike. Whereas the Republicans enjoy being shat on in this manner, the Democrats were entirely justified in taking offense, since Jean Shit had shat shit directly in their faces, hoping that some would get in their mouths so that they would be forced to eat it.

Jean Shit was elected to office in Ohio because Ohio is a great state for shit-eating. The citizens who voted for Shit regularly eat their own shit, but it's never enough, they want to eat other people's shit and fantasize that others might eat their shit as well, and Jean Shit rose to power by promising the citizens of her district that she would shit in each of their mouths, force them to swallow it, punch them in the stomach so they would regurgitate the shit, then make them clean up and reingest the regurgitated shit, all the while shitting themselves, scooping up their own shit and slinging it at their family members and loved ones. This is how politics works in Ohio. Just look at the Republican party there. Just look at the blast of diarrhea that Ohio rocketed out of its anus into the mouths of all Americans last election day. Why should Ohio be allowed to shit in the face of America? Why should Jean Shit be allowed to shit in the face of Congress, of C-Span viewers?

There's no getting around this. We've been living in it for 4 years now. There is no political discourse, there is no media, there is no news, there is no debate, there is no legislation, there is no governance, because one of the two political parties is for the most part made up of people who think that what should come out of your mouth is language and what should go into it is food, or at least toys or parts of the body, whereas the other political party believes that shit is the only substance that ought to go into and come out of mouths. So there has not been, will not be, can never be, any communication or compromise, because there are two different, essentially incompatible "languages": one of words and expressions, one of shit.

Likewise, there are two different realities: one in which people live, work, love, eat, sleep, shit, go to movies and social gatherings, travel, worship, have school, vacations, fears and anxieties and hopes and aspirations, read books and play games, etc.; and another in which people eat their own shit, force themselves to vomit up the shit, scoop up the shit-vomit, hurl or spray it at other people, then run at and physically assault those people, trying to force them to chew and swallow the shit that's just been hurled/sprayed at them, while also beating and raping them and crying out blasphemies against the Lord.

So it's incompatible: nothing can be done. What response can there have been to Jean Shit's speech on the House floor, other than to send one's staffer out to quickly obtain a bag of human or animal shit, then throw it from the gallery down onto Jean Shit's head, in order to induce her to stop speaking (shitting/raping) for just a moment? What else can a citizen do whose fellow-citizens have elected a Republican to congress, than go to the home or office of that Republican with a similar bag of shit and throw it in the most strategic possible way?

This Republic is over, friends. There will be a civil war either sooner or later. I guess all that we can hope for is that top Democrats have been quietly communicating with sympathetic members of the military command, so that when the fighting starts we might have at least a portion of the military on our side.

Update: See, look:

"Congress in strong, bipartisan fashion rejected the call to cut and run," press secretary Scott McClellan, traveling with Bush in Asia, said a statement.

McShithead's statement does not refer to something that "Congress" "did"; it doesn't refer to anything concerning the war in Iraq; in fact, the statement is completely non-referential. Rather, it is solely performative: it forces shit into the mouth of the reader/viewer, while physically raping that reader/viewer through the eyes and ears.


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