Saturday, December 09, 2006

Satanism: Not Half Bad? 

Also known as Satanism: Hot or Not?

Also known as "Got Satan?"

Not talking devil-worship, folks. Devil worship is a mere inversion of Christianity, and the Satanist worships the only true god: oneself! As LaVey explains, "Satan is just a symbol, nothing more. Satan signifies our love of the worldly and our rejection of the pallid, ineffectual image of Christ on the cross."

The Nine Satanic Sins

1. Stupidity

2. Pretentiousness

3. Self-deceit

4. Herd Conformity

5. Lack of Perspective

6. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies

7. Counterproductive Pride

8. Lack of Aesthetics

9. Solipsism

The Nine Satanic Statements

1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence.

2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams.

3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit.

4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates.

5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.

6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for those who suck your time and energy.

7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours.

8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification.

9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as it has kept it in business all these years.

Not half bad, right?

Got Satan?


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