Friday, February 29, 2008

"Proud Muslim" Obama's Rhetoric Spiced with Arabic Numerals; McCain MVIII Spokesman "Troubled" 

YOUNGSTOWN -- The McCain MVIII presidential campaign released reams of speeches, e-mails, debate transcripts, and personal correspondence in which Muslim candidate and terrorist Barack Hussein Obama appeared to surreptitiously make use of statistics larded with Arabic numerals. In order to show solidarity with our troops in harm's way, this publication has chosen not to reprint the offending numerals. The documents made available to the media today number some MMCCXIX pages in length and include several "troubling" instances of the Black Osama's vicious calumny, including:

* Mr. Hussein Obama's claim that McCain "speaks of a war in Iraq lasting C years."

* An intercepted e-mail from O'Bomber to his fellow collaborators in which he solicits a contribution of XXV, L, or even C dollars which will be used to murder American babies.

* A similar e-mail in which the turban-clad bomb-throwing playa wildly boasts of having recruited M Americans and organized them into cells throughout the nation.

* Dunkin' Donuts receipts charged to the campaign that contain row after row of Arabic numerals arranged in some sort of coded arithmetical pattern.

* Economic and budgetary proposals which, according to former FBI profilers retained by the McCain MVIII campaign, seem to have been calculated using an obscure and potent form of dark Islamofascist numeromancy known as "al-Jabr."

The Obama campaign did not immediately respond to requests for comments made by hollering into the mouth of their secret cave.


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