Wednesday, May 21, 2008

arms race escalates 


At a press conference today in Moscow, opposition leader Gary Kasparov announced the successful development of a Russian Missile Defense shield. The chess-player turned political candidate launched his press conference with a strong rebuke of the current leadership, "Putin has failed to protect Russia. His mishandled foreign policy has only strengthened the strategic position of the US in Europe. It is time for a change. It is time to do away with the politics of appeasement and work for a strong defense of our homeland.", Kasparov said.

He continued, "Today we are unveiling the Mark I prototype of the new RMDS system. It has been thoroughly tested and is impenetrable. We cannot allow the rape of our country to go on. Elect me and I will end once and for all these unsolicited advances by the US and Russia's virtue will be unmolested!"

With that attendees gasped in awe as Kasparov demonstrated the Mark I. At the end of the demonstration, spectators were gleeful. Anna Bronkskaya, a volunteer on the Kasparov campaign enthused, "Size doesn't matter anymore. With the Mark I and Kasparov's leadership, Mother Russia will no longer have to get on her knees."

Reached at his ranch in Crawford President Bush had little to say about the developing situation, "It appears that the Mark I is indeed operational and would make Russia impervious to conventional approaches. But Americans should not be cowed by this brazen act. Myself, Cheney, and the boys at the Pentagon are currently exploring what we call...uh...'back-door' options. We will find the crack. That's what we do. We're crack-finders."

video courtesy: Fixin's


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