Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Army Attacks Its Own Citizens; State of Emergency Declared in Israestine

TEL-AGAZA, January 14, 2009.
The Israestinian army’s chief of staff, Lt. Gen. Gabi Ashkenazi, resigned today after taking responsibility for an apparent series of incidents in which the army mistakenly began attacking the fortified Tel-Agaza neighborhood of Gaza last week and killed in excess of 900 people, wounding thousands more. Ashkenazi was unable to account for the actions of his forces, though he theorized that the catastrophe may have spiraled from a training exercise spun out of control.

"I am leaving my post today to do the small part that I can do to atone for our army's inexcusable and regrettable slaughter of its own citizens," said Ashkenazi. "I cannot explain why these people were killed in so systematic and barbaric a manner as they were. It is the job of a nation to protect its citizens, not to kill them."

Jerusallah newspaper Ha'aretz condemned the massacre earlier today, arguing that "this is a moment of great national embarrassment before the vigilant eyes of the world. The flags will fly at half-mast for the year to come. This should be a time of reflection and introspection as we collectively devise a process by which to de-arm our military, so that a disaster like this never occurs again. The time of its relevance and gross expenditure of public funds is finally past, and we should all breathe a sign of relief. Future generations will see this as the turning point when we all regained our senses."

Opposition party Hamkud leader Benjamin Netanyahu put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the current government, which risks being voted out in upcoming elections. "The issue here is simple," Netanyahu said. "Is the government assuring that all its citizens have equal rights or not? This is the baseline expectation in any democracy." Netanyahu is currently leading in the polls.

United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, surveying the damage in Gaza District, pledged to do whatever the U.N. could to repair damaged infrastructure as quickly as possible, noting that "part of the raison d'etre of the United Nations is to help other nations recover as quickly as possible from tragic accidents such as this. But we trust that all Israestinians will stand together at this moment. It is in their unity that the strength will be found to get past this tragedy."


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