Saturday, December 09, 2006

noted without comment 

From a conversation with Rep. Silvestre Reyes, the incoming Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee:

Al Qaeda is what, I asked, Sunni or Shia?

“Al Qaeda, they have both,” Reyes said. “You’re talking about predominately?”

“Sure,” I said, not knowing what else to say.

“Predominantly — probably Shiite,” he ventured.


And Hezbollah? I asked him. What are they?

“Hezbollah. Uh, Hezbollah...”

He laughed again, shifting in his seat.

“Why do you ask me these questions at five o’clock? Can I answer in Spanish? Do you speak Spanish?”

“Pocito,” I said—a little.

“Pocito?! “ He laughed again.

“Go ahead,” I said, talk to me about Sunnis and Shia in Spanish.

Reyes: “Well, I, uh....”

Other gems include:

Only six people in the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad are fluent in Arabic, according to last week’s report of the Iraq Study Group. Only about two dozen of the embassy’s thousand employees have some familiarity with the language, the report said.


...two key Republicans on the Intelligence Committee knew when I interviewed them last summer. Rep. Jo Ann Davis, R-Va., and Terry Everett, R-Ala., both back for another term, were flummoxed by such basic questions, as were several top counterterrorism officials at the FBI.


Members of the Intelligence Committee...are paid $165,200 a year

Satanism: Not Half Bad? 

Also known as Satanism: Hot or Not?

Also known as "Got Satan?"

Not talking devil-worship, folks. Devil worship is a mere inversion of Christianity, and the Satanist worships the only true god: oneself! As LaVey explains, "Satan is just a symbol, nothing more. Satan signifies our love of the worldly and our rejection of the pallid, ineffectual image of Christ on the cross."

The Nine Satanic Sins

1. Stupidity

2. Pretentiousness

3. Self-deceit

4. Herd Conformity

5. Lack of Perspective

6. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies

7. Counterproductive Pride

8. Lack of Aesthetics

9. Solipsism

The Nine Satanic Statements

1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence.

2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams.

3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit.

4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates.

5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.

6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for those who suck your time and energy.

7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours.

8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification.

9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as it has kept it in business all these years.

Not half bad, right?

Got Satan?

Monday, December 04, 2006

the one thing we didn't want to happen 

Hopefully now that 'Borat' is doing so well someone will think to resurrect the career of the sublime Chris Morris. For a sample, above is part one of his tabloid-television style satire of the British pedophile scare of 2000.

More Chris Morris at Beware of the Blog.


Monday Cat Blogging 

"Ha ha, we don't know what 'Monday' is. Suckers."

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Painful Metaphor Alert 



This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?