Saturday, November 19, 2005

Civil Shit War 

As speakingcorpse points out in the comments, Jean Schmidt's name is actually Jean Shit. The name describes its owner literally. Jean Shit is a woman made entirely out of shit--and what she did today on the floor of the House was to consume a part of herself (shit), then shit it back out at her audience, the other House members, Republicans and Democrats alike. Whereas the Republicans enjoy being shat on in this manner, the Democrats were entirely justified in taking offense, since Jean Shit had shat shit directly in their faces, hoping that some would get in their mouths so that they would be forced to eat it.

Jean Shit was elected to office in Ohio because Ohio is a great state for shit-eating. The citizens who voted for Shit regularly eat their own shit, but it's never enough, they want to eat other people's shit and fantasize that others might eat their shit as well, and Jean Shit rose to power by promising the citizens of her district that she would shit in each of their mouths, force them to swallow it, punch them in the stomach so they would regurgitate the shit, then make them clean up and reingest the regurgitated shit, all the while shitting themselves, scooping up their own shit and slinging it at their family members and loved ones. This is how politics works in Ohio. Just look at the Republican party there. Just look at the blast of diarrhea that Ohio rocketed out of its anus into the mouths of all Americans last election day. Why should Ohio be allowed to shit in the face of America? Why should Jean Shit be allowed to shit in the face of Congress, of C-Span viewers?

There's no getting around this. We've been living in it for 4 years now. There is no political discourse, there is no media, there is no news, there is no debate, there is no legislation, there is no governance, because one of the two political parties is for the most part made up of people who think that what should come out of your mouth is language and what should go into it is food, or at least toys or parts of the body, whereas the other political party believes that shit is the only substance that ought to go into and come out of mouths. So there has not been, will not be, can never be, any communication or compromise, because there are two different, essentially incompatible "languages": one of words and expressions, one of shit.

Likewise, there are two different realities: one in which people live, work, love, eat, sleep, shit, go to movies and social gatherings, travel, worship, have school, vacations, fears and anxieties and hopes and aspirations, read books and play games, etc.; and another in which people eat their own shit, force themselves to vomit up the shit, scoop up the shit-vomit, hurl or spray it at other people, then run at and physically assault those people, trying to force them to chew and swallow the shit that's just been hurled/sprayed at them, while also beating and raping them and crying out blasphemies against the Lord.

So it's incompatible: nothing can be done. What response can there have been to Jean Shit's speech on the House floor, other than to send one's staffer out to quickly obtain a bag of human or animal shit, then throw it from the gallery down onto Jean Shit's head, in order to induce her to stop speaking (shitting/raping) for just a moment? What else can a citizen do whose fellow-citizens have elected a Republican to congress, than go to the home or office of that Republican with a similar bag of shit and throw it in the most strategic possible way?

This Republic is over, friends. There will be a civil war either sooner or later. I guess all that we can hope for is that top Democrats have been quietly communicating with sympathetic members of the military command, so that when the fighting starts we might have at least a portion of the military on our side.

Update: See, look:

"Congress in strong, bipartisan fashion rejected the call to cut and run," press secretary Scott McClellan, traveling with Bush in Asia, said a statement.

McShithead's statement does not refer to something that "Congress" "did"; it doesn't refer to anything concerning the war in Iraq; in fact, the statement is completely non-referential. Rather, it is solely performative: it forces shit into the mouth of the reader/viewer, while physically raping that reader/viewer through the eyes and ears.

Friday, November 18, 2005

New Day, New Schmidt 

Jean Schmidt (R-OH) yesterday:

SCHMIDT: I'm Jean Schmidt. I'm from the 2nd District in Ohio. I'm the newest person on the block. And this morning I spent time at the Arlington National Cemetery watching, witnessing, being part of a funeral of one of my fallen heroes in my district.

SCHMIDT: And I walked away from there seeing the glorious graves of the people that have fought for our freedom more resolved than ever to make sure we keep the enemy on their shore and not ours. You know, you all are not getting the big picture. The big picture is that these Islamic insurgents want to destroy us. They don't like us. They don't like us because we're black, we're white, we're Christian, we're Jew, we're educated, we're free, we're not Islamic. We can never be Islamic because we were not born Islamic. Now, this isn't the Islamic citizens. These are the insurgents. And it is their desire for us to leave so they can take over the whole Middle East and then take over the world. And I didn't learn this just in the last few weeks or the last few months. I learned this when I was at the University of Cincinnati in 1970, studying Middle Eastern history. And I was told by a very valuable professor, one that I still remember, Wie Zuefabushi (ph). He was Palestinian. He said, If we don't create freedom in that region it's going to come back and attack us. And this was during Vietnam, when everybody thought the issue was Vietnam. And he said, No, the issue is not Vietnam, it's the Middle East, it's Islamic insurgents that will come back and destroy us.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, 9/11 proved that they can come here and they can attack us. We must continue the course, not just for the sake of the soldiers that have given their time, their talents and their lives to protect our freedom, but for ourselves and our children.

We are the best nation in the world, and it is incumbent upon us at all levels, whether we are soldiers, whether we are in Congress, or whether we are the press, to protect our freedom.

I'm doing it. The soldiers are doing it. I hope my Democratic colleagues will do it. And I hope you will, too.

Thank you.

Jean Schmidt (R-OH) today:

Ms. Schmidt: Yesterday I stood at Arlington National Cemetery attending the funeral of a young marine in my district. He believed in what we were doing is the right thing and had the courage to lay his life on the line to do it. A few minutes ago I received a call from Colonel Danny Bop, Ohio Representative from the 88th district in the House of Representatives. He asked me to send Congress a message: Stay the course. He also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message, that cowards cut and run, Marines never do. Danny and the rest of America and the world want the assurance from this body – that we will see this through.

Fortunately Democrats in the chamber went nuts, there was brief pandemonium, and Schmidt was forced to retract her statement. Video here.

What will Jean Schmidt (R-OH) say tomorrow?

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Song proves Bush right 

20 thousand watts of pure Freedom!

Titled Bush Was Right, the song hits the listener with fact after fact after fact - but the tune is so catchy, and the music is so driving, you can't help but sing along

(hat tip Satan)

Daily Poll: Torture 

In his ongoing investigation, should Patrick Fitzgerald be allowed to use torture to extract truthful testimony from members of the Bush administration?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

1,000-year old news 

Just looking at this Kos post--amazing new picture of a "reflection nebula" in which we can see stars being born--and recalling that, because the nebula is 1,000 light years from earth, this is a picture of what the nebula looked like 1,000 years ago. It's the latest news we have from that nebula. A very Douglas Adams moment for me.

So then I was trying to think what was happening on earth circa 1005 C.E.. Can anyone provide a synopsis?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Shit crashes into violently spinning fan 

Good Christ.

Woodward was the first reporter to receive the Plame leak.

He didn't tell his editors, or anyone else, until the leaker told Fitzgerald--after the Libby indictment.

All the while, Woodward has pooh-poohed the whole investigation, claiming that the leak caused no damage, claiming that Fitzgerald is a "junk-yard dog prosecutor," claiming that we'll all be "laughing" about it in a few years.

And all the while, he was hiding the fact that he received the leak before anyone else. Hiding it, as if it were a highly damaging secret. Which it is.

This has nothing to do with confidentiality. He didn't even mention to his own bosses or colleagues that he had received the information well before the Novak column. He certainly could have shared this information with colleagues without revealing the identity of the shit-spigot.

And now he claims that he DID tell the super-reliable Walter Pincus--the best reporter on this story, from the very beginning--about this ur-defecation. And now the super-reliable Walter Pincus says that Woodward never told him any such thing.

Why is Woodward lying?

Because he was covering the ass of someone in the junta. And then Fitzgerald put that someone in a vice, and that someone told him about the Woodward conversation.

And then Fitzgerald subpoenaed Woodward, who was forced to testify on November 3.

And then Woodward had to come clean to his bosses about the fact that he was covering the ass of someone in the junta.

Who? Why?

Not surprising/nonetheless, what the hell are we to make of it/does it signify grave danger to us? 

From (respectively) the Wash (Moonie) Times and Drudge, via AmericaBlog:

President Bush feels betrayed by several of his most senior aides and advisors and has severely restricted access to the Oval Office, administration sources say. The president's reclusiveness in the face of relentless public scrutiny of the U.S.-led war in Iraq and White House leaks regarding CIA operative Valerie Plame has become so extreme that Mr. Bush has also reduced contact with his father, former President George H.W. Bush, administration sources said on the condition of anonymity.
The sources said Mr. Bush maintains daily contact with only four people: first lady Laura Bush, his mother, Barbara Bush, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Undersecretary of State Karen Hughes. The sources also say that Mr. Bush has stopped talking with his father, except on family occasions.

Pathetic and predictable, of course. But also dangerous. What will happen?

A Truthful Cartoon 

Here the effort to satirize becomes an effective exposure of exactly what is going on.

Monday, November 14, 2005

American People Let the Media Down 

What will the Mainstream Whore Media do with this information? Commit collective suicide?

A 53% majority say they trust what Bush says less than they trusted previous presidents while they were in office. In a specific comparison with President Clinton, those surveyed by 48%-36% say they trust Bush less.

I guess it's just too much to ask the American people to learn a few simple lessons...

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Shitfaced asshole 

George Bush is a shitfaced asshole. This video provides incontrovertible evidence that Bush is an asshole who has been spending most of his time shitfaced. Thus: shitfaced asshole.

Also, what the fuck is happening in this image?

Valium mixed with a bit too much ritalin? PCP? Crack?


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